With all my heart

August 1, 2019 - 12:00am -- Living City

With all my heart
A turning point in a woman’s relationship with her mother

Ever since I learned about putting the Gospel into practice, I’ve understood much more about what it means to be a Christian. However, I’ve also had one substantial cross: my failure to love my own mother with all my heart.

I had always blamed her for the disunity in our family, which has been going on for quite some time. I’ve often hurt her feelings and apologized afterwards to her, but the same situations would keep happening again and again.

Unexpectedly last summer, my mom was diagnosed with terminal blood cancer, multiple myeloma and minor dementia. As a result, she was hospitalized for more than two months. I was shocked and sad, and I cried a lot.

One day while I was with my mom in the hospital, I realized that God had answered my prayer. I was now able to love my mom with all my heart. I no longer had any negative feelings toward my mom. I was able to see her as a woman who had had a difficult life, and I felt compassion towards her.

Generally, my mother is a person who is anxious and worries a lot. When she learned about her cancer, she was obviously very shocked. But due to her dementia, she didn’t feel anxiety or fear of death. This is another grace for which I thanked God.

My mom had been a Buddhist since she was very young. She was fond of my friends who lived the spirituality of unity and participated in many Focolare events, but she always affirmed that she wanted to remain Buddhist.

However, during the period of her hospitalization, she expressed the desire to become a Christian. Her baptism took place in the hospital. After two months there, my mom was sent home. Now, my son and I have started taking care of her full time.

Years ago, I couldn’t have imagined a situation in which she would become totally dependent on me. I would have felt that I couldn’t handle it at all. Now it is a reality, and surprisingly, I can do it. I truly believe that the Holy Spirit enables me to do so.

Jaesook Lee, Toronto


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