The truth? Not exactly

October 1, 2017 -- Living City

The truth? Not exactly
I agreed with the path, but abhorred the approach

Giving false impressions, or allowing a person to infer something that isn’t accurate, has always bothered me. Since I am a pretty straightforward type, when I see false impressions happening I usually try to verify the facts first, then speak with the person. They’re not exactly lying, but not exactly telling the truth either.

It seemed that something like this was happening with a person at work. So, I admit, I set him up. I knew the answers before our conversation and waited to see what would happen. Yep, he was giving me information that normally would be interpreted one way, but unfortunately, that interpretation was not correct.

Okay, everyone makes mistakes. Let’s try this again: different situations. But, just like in baseball, it was strike one; strike two; strike three! Three times I was given information that was almost accurate, but would have left me with a wrong conclusion.

What to do? First I had a conversation with the person. I told him what appeared to be happening and asked if I was misreading the situation. He told me I was seeing the situation exactly right! What?!?! He said he had a path to follow and he was going to follow it. Well, I agreed with the path, but abhorred the approach. He thought he was completely justified in moving toward the goal in this manner.

This made the situation my problem. I wasn’t sure what to do with that … usually when a person has been “found out,” there is an opportunity for more honest dialogue. Not in this case. At least not yet.

It took me a couple of months to realize that I needed “new” eyes for this person. I kept seeing him through my lens, rather than seeing him as my brother. So I decided to start again; I asked God for a new heart in this situation so that I might see this person as though it were the first time we had ever met.

And it worked. The person told me how glad he was that we were back on good terms. I will still check his information for accuracy, but we are able to move ahead toward the same goal, albeit using different strategies.

J. D., New York


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