When you’re loved by someone, you cannot hate them

June 1, 2019 -- Living City

When you’re loved by someone, you cannot hate them
Children across the country and around the world learn the Gospel-based Art of Loving through the Cube of Love program. Here’s how Noah Kim, 10, and his mother Doris, tried to put into practice the phrase “Love your enemy.”

After school one day, one of my classmates thought that I had stolen her diary, even though I hadn’t! Because of this, one of her friends poured water on my back and they both ran away laughing. After I returned home, I told my mom what had happened at school, and she wrote an email to my teacher.

A few days later, that classmate and her friend were called to the principal’s office and when they came back to class, they were very angry. My friend was angry that I had told on her, so she started being as mean as possible to me: shoving me from behind when the teachers weren’t looking, glaring at me when we were close together, and whispering hurtful things to me. Since she did all of this privately, she did not get in trouble for it.

Finally she threatened to tell the principal that I’m not a good person, giving a number of reasons why she felt this way.

My mom and I tried to think of a solution to my problem. We knew we could speak to the teacher again about the problem, but we thought that it wouldn’t really solve it. My friend would just be even more upset with me.

So we came up with a better plan. We wanted to try one last thing … We decided to love instead of to hate.

When you are loved by someone, you cannot hate that person.

So we decided that I would go up to her each day and give her some compliment. Early the next day, before she said something mean to me, I complimented her about her hair. Her replies were rude at first, but soon they got better. I tried to give her one compliment every day. Several days later, I said to my mom, “She doesn’t seem angry at me anymore.”

Around this time, I had started wearing glasses, and I was afraid that my friends, and especially her, would make fun of me. But she didn’t make fun of me, nor was she mean to me. She only asked the same question my other classmates had: “You wear glasses?”

The situation has continued to improve, and now, when I see my friend, she is kinder to me.

- Noah Kim, 10

 

When I heard what had happened to Noah at school, I was a little upset. I was also worried that the girls would continue bullying my son, so I wrote an email to his teacher. But the result was not what I expected.

Instead of offering an apology, the girls blamed Noah for getting them in trouble. When I heard that this girl was unkind to him every day, I had to come up with a solution. I knew that I had to love her. So I told Noah about my idea. I am so grateful that he was willing to try.

In the end, concrete love prevailed and Noah’s class was peaceful again.

At the beginning of the next school year, I attended a back-to-school night. I saw that this girl was seated right in front of Noah. I was a little worried considering all the trouble we had had with this girl in the past.

I asked Noah about the seating arrangement, and he replied that his teacher told them to sit anywhere they wanted, and she had come and asked if she could sit with him. This showed me how comfortable she felt with Noah.

Last week, the children had a wax museum event at school, and all the parents were invited. Every child picked one famous person and dressed up as him or her. A parent would ask a student who he was dressed as, and the student was supposed to explain.

Looking around the room, I noticed that the girl was alone. I went up to her and asked who she was. She happily explained to me. As she smiled at me, I realized that I felt no hatred towards her at all, and I was full of joy.

- Doris (Noah’s mom)